Seal My Desire
by Kasai-Sama
Summary: In a world full of battles, spells, and strange desires, they had eyes for only each other :KouyaxYamato:
1. Wait For Me

She was tired of waiting

_Hi everyone, Kasai here. Now, some of you may be wondering why in the world I'm starting a new fanfic when I have two other unfinished ones, a co-write in the works, and junior year to deal with._

_The answer? I don't know._

_Well, I kind of do. I've always wanted to delve into Loveless, particularly into the relationship of Kouya and Yamato, which I feel wasn't given the proper light that it deserved. So, this fic with delve into the lives of the two female zeroes before they ever came in contact with Ritsuka, and it will focus on the developing romance between the two. If the concept of two females sharing a romantic relationship offends you, please leave, or forever be held as an idiot in my mind._

_This fic id dedicated to my lovely __**Zaya-sama**__, who's just about one of the coolest people I have ever met. She wrote me a lovely one-shot devoted to those two, and I hope I can show my appreciation with this fic._

_I luff you, Zaya-luff! Vielen Dank!_

_x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-xx-x-xx—x-x-x_

She was tired of waiting

The little glow in the dark watch clicked away the seconds, and she listened to them weave into minuets, documenting the time she had been sitting in the room, quiet and motionless. The said room was small, painted black, and there were no other objects, save her and the little stool she had been sitting upon for the last hour or so. The grains of wood felt old and brittle under her hands, and she idly wondered in the chair would stand up much longer under her slight wait. She was only ten, and certainly not overweight, but regardless, the last thing she wanted was for Nagisa to find her in a tumble of broken wood.

She had been escorted here, she estimated, about one hour ago by Nagisa, who, as always, was wearing a remarkable arrangement of clothe and ribbons, with a ridiculous looking hat to complement the outfit. She was like a peacock, Yamato had thought with a giggle. Playing the flirt, preening her feather. She'd never win over Ritsu like that.

"Sit." Nagisa had commanded, decorating the order with a rapid flutter of her hand. "You're meeting your sentouki today."

Her chest had twisted in a rather unpleasant feeling of unease at the concept her teacher was suggesting, but she tipped her head, eyes widening into an innocent expression of child like curiosity. "So soon?"

Yamato was expecting Nagisa to be annoyed, so it brought no surprise when the blue haired woman rolled her eyes and shot her a cross look. "Yes, now. What, aren't you ready? Or are you just lazy?"

Yamato remained quiet for the moment as she pondered how exactly to answer the question. True, she didn't really want to get into spell battles and fight, so she supposed that laziness played some part in her reluctant answer. Or maybe it was merely the concept of the sentouki-sacrifice relationship that made her hesitate. The sacrifice belonged to the sentouki…or was it the other way around? In any case, one human belonged to another without question, and Yamato wasn't sure she could play the role of the master or the servant. It didn't seem right to her at all.

Yamato had been taught, for as long as she could remember, that, if life were a chess board, she played the roll of the king. She was the piece that everyone sought to restrain, and she was the piece that could not survive without someone to guard her. The sacrifice, to complement this analogy, played the role of the queen, the most powerful, versatile, and vital piece in the game. The queen was the soldier who led the assault while the king stayed behind, holding all power but unable to do anything but give orders. She was the king, and her sentouki would serve as her guard and companion for the remainder of her life. They would be woven together by a bound so deep that all suffering done in battle to her sentouki would be transferred to her so that she could be protected by her. It was a harmonious effect practiced by all fighting pairs.

The again, she was a Zero. She couldn't feel pain.

Well, that didn't make much difference, did it?

A sharp thwack on her head brought her out of her contemplations, and she rubbed at the sting, her straw colored ears throbbing from the abuse. "Nagisa-sensei!"

"You weren't paying attention." Nagisa replied, waving her hand, the disregard for the girl shown by her nonchalant face. "Are you too lazy? Your sentouki is a very valuable girl. I don't want her wasted because you won't work hard enough."

The child grinned, sitting up straighter and rocking back and forth on the chair. "No, Nagisa-sensei, I'm not lazy. I'm ready."

"I should hope so." Nagisa murmured, walking to the doorway and peering down at her pocket watch, another little embellishment to her ridiculous outfit. Honestly.

In a sudden fit of mischief, Yamato raised her hand, waving it about in a way she knew her teacher hated. "Sensei, I have a question!" she all but yelled to the woman, who grimaced. "Why do you hate me?"

Nagisa made a noise of discontent, her eyes narrowed in a slight impatience as she opened the door, turning back to face the girl.

"I don't hate you. I hate all sacrifices."

"Does that mean you like all fighters?" she inquired, still rocking back and fourth on the little wooden chair. If she wasn't careful, she thought idly, she might fall off.

Well, who would care? Nagisa certainly didn't.

Said teacher merely nodded in agreement, before turning and facing the girl, her childish face scrunched up in attempt to appear threatening. "I'm going to fetch your fighter now. But make no mistake. Kouya doesn't belong to you. You belong to her."

Kouya?

Before Yamato had time to inquire about the name, Nagisa had disappeared.

And here she was.

Ever since her last contact with her teacher, Yamato had rolled the name over and over in her head, repeating it to herself, trying it like a piece of sweet candy. Kouya. It was a warm name, a sweet, soft, gentle name. She liked it.

"I will be bounded to Kouya." She said, smiling to herself as she wrapped her arms around her slight body, clothed in a pair of pink pajamas. "And her to me."

There was a shuffling outside the door, and the little sacrifice looked up expectantly, blinking as the door opened and the light poured into the room. Her blinking blue eyes fluttered a bit to adjust to the shapes standing in the door. As they cleared, she was able to pick out Nagisa without too much trouble.

But the girl next to her was a mystery. She stood there with her eyes down cast, wavy black hair falling down her little round face. She was dressed smartly in a pleated skirt and sweater, but most of it was hidden by a long, tan overcoat the hung limply around the girl's slender frame. Yamato could also see a pair of rounded glasses over the girl's eyes. She was a secret; everything seemed so tucked away and hidden. Everything about the girl was a mystery.

"Kouya, meet your sacrifice, Nakano Yamato." Nagisa's voice cut through the awkward silence as she nudged the girl, Kouya, a few steps forward. "Yamato, this is Sakagami Kouya, your sentouki."

There was warning glance in Nagisa's eyes, as if to remind the blonde girl of her place in this new arrangement, but Yamato wasn't paying attention to the gaze, but instead was looking at Kouya. The black haired girl had finally lifted her head, her eyes meeting Yamato's blue for the first time.

They were the warmest shade of brown Yamato had ever seen.

She offered a smile, not as vivacious as her previous grins had been, but almost shy, more subdued, as she stared at her new sentouki.

"I'm Yamato." She said, tilting her head to one side. "I've been waiting for you."

Kouya stared at her, wide eyes unblinking, face making no change to show any emotion to her introduction. Yamato would have believed that the girl was incapable of any human quality until the girl spoke.

"Waiting?" Kouya asked, her voice as soft as a butterfly, and seemingly almost as fragile. "But, I was told I was on time."

Yamato wasn't really paying attention to the actual content of the sentence, but more to that whispery voice. So different from her own voice, loud and begging to be heard, Kouya seemed to stay quiet in hopes that no one would listen to her.

Maybe because she though no one would /want/ to listen to her?

She rolled the idea around in her head, but Yamato could think of a reason why anyone wouldn't want to listen to the pretty girl in front of her. Kouya's voice made her stomach flutter and it made her feel warm and happy. Why wouldn't you want to listen to someone who made you feel like that?

"You're just in time." Yamato said softly, sliding off the stool and walking up until she was about a foot away from her new sentouki. Though she wouldn't understand what she did next until many years later, Yamato reached up her hand and cupped Kouya's check, stroking the silky flesh of the girls face.

"I've been waiting for you."

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

_It's a short first chapter, but I only consider this the prologue, so look for a much longer chapter next time!_

_Kasai_


	2. Wish For Me

_Wow, a new chapter? It only took me five months. How awesome is that? 8D_

_Yes, I know, I'm terribly lazy. I'm doing the best I can, with school and all that. Jr. Year sucks ;-;_

_But that's ok, because I have a new chapter! And I promise the next one will be out much sooner!_

_So yeah! Enjoy!_

_As always, this fic is dedicated to my libeling, __**Zaya**__, who is epic in all ways possible. Love ya!_

The apartment was charming, in a simplistic sort of way. It was done in warm beiges and creams, and though sparsely furnished, the few couches and table gave the place a welcoming air. Yamato exhaled sharply, sending a few strands of straw colored hair air born for a few seconds before they fell back and setting in her blue eyes once more. She shifted her duffle bag to a more comfortable position on her shoulder and turned back to her sentouki behind her. The dark haired girl had scarcely moved since they'd been shown their new home.

Her gaze shifted down to her right hand, still a raw red. Nagisa, apparently, didn't care much for physical motions between sentouki and sacrifice. She had slapped Yamato's hand away from Kouya.

Oh, how very violent.

Another sigh escaped the blonde's lips as she turned back to face the entry way, stepping inside the small apartment. It had no windows, as was expected, and was lit mainly by a large lamp in the center of the room, situated on a walnut wood coffee table. Flanking the table were two tan colored couches, decorated with thick, chocolate colored pillows. At the far end of the room, an unlit brick fireplace occupied most of the wall. There were no pictures on the walls, or anything else to personalize the rom. She looked down at her bright blue, nylon duffel. The bright colors and fabric looked awfully out of place in the cozy dorm.

"Where do we sleep?"

She gave a little jump, greatly surprised at hearing Kouya's soft voice from behind her. She turned, tilting her head to the side as she pondered the question. The room was nice, but the couches were too small to accommodate the both of them, and Nagisa had told the both of them that sleeping bags wouldn't be needed.

"Maybe the couches are pullouts?' she suggested.

Kouya shrugged, and moved to one of the couches, carefully wedging herself between the table and the couch. She slipped her hands under one of the large cushions and lifted it, peering down under.

"No good. I don't think either of them are."

Yamato let the duffel fall to the ground with a plop, before walking over to where Kouya stood. The sentouki was right. There was nothing to suggest that there was anything under the couches other than dust.

"That's weird." Yamato remarked, balled fists on thin hips as she surveyed the remainder of the room, looking for a door, or something that might lead to another room, a bedroom of sorts. But she saw nothing, and eventually propped herself down on the couch with a sigh.

"Guess we'll have to make do." She remarked to Kouya, expecting her to still be at her position beside the other couch. When she looked up to find the sentouki gone, her head snapped around in confusion. Where had Kouya gone?

"Yamato, look."

The named girl turned her head. Almost directly behind her, Kouya was running her hands along the walls, covered in cream colored wall paper. Her hands were fingering a corner of the paper that appeared to have been torn.

"It's just old wall paper." Yamato remarked, mistaking her partner's observation. "We can buy something new if you don't like it."

"That's not what I meant." The raven haired girl replied, and Yamato watched in confusion as Kouya ran a slender finger down the wall and back up again. "There's a door behind here."

"Really?" she asked, standing on tiptoe so she could peer over her companions shoulder. She watched in fascination as Kouya slowly dug her fingers into the crack she had found, tugging hard.

"I can't open it. Can you help me?"

Yamato nodded, her fingers joining Kouya's. Both girls gave hearty tugs on the door, and nearly fell backwards as the door finally gave way and opened.

"You were right." Yamato said, awed, as she massaged her sore fingers. "Where do you think it leads?"

Kouya didn't say anything, instead stepping up to the newly discovered passageway. "I can't tell. It's too dark."

"Is there a light?"

"Maybe, but it's hard to guess. Do we have something to illuminate the passageway?"

"Let me look." Yamato replied, stepping back and retracing her steps back to her duffel, opening the bag and digging into its tightly stuffed contents. Her hands met a myriad of fabrics, mostly clothes, but after awhile, they wrapped around something long and hard.

"Here." She said, passing the flashlight to the sentouki. "It doesn't shine very brightly, but it might work."

Their hands brushed lightly as the flashlight was passed between them, and Yamato was shocked to feel a light heat spread through her body at the simple touch. What was going on?

"Thanks." The girl replied, clicking on the light and watching as the thin beam cast light in the entry way. "Yamato, look."

For the second time, Yamato peered around Kouya's shoulder. What she saw surprised her. The door had opened to reveal not another room, but a thin, wooden staircase making a sharp ascension upwards into the darkness. "Wow. Where do you think it leads?"

The other girl way already gingerly pressing her foot on the first step, testing the strength of the old wooden step. "Why don't we go and see?"

Yamato had to hide her surprise as she followed the sentouki up the steps, pausing now and again as she heard a threatening creak. But her eyes were fixed on Kouya's slender back and swaying wave of black hair. She was rather surprised that a girl who had at first impression seemed so shy and withdrawn would be the first to venture into the unknown.

And what about her? Why in the world was she so drawn to the quiet girl? Why was it that a mere touch from Kouya's hand made her feel warm all over?

Maybe it was just a bond between them? As sentouki and sacrifice?

Or something else?

"Yamato, are you coming?"

Startled, the named girl looked up to released she had stopped on the third or fourth stair, and that Kouya was already halfway lost in the shadows higher up the stair case.

"Right behind you." She said, flashing the girl a trademark grin before starting back up after the Kouya, mentally kicking herself. Getting so lost in her thoughts that she lost any idea of what was going on around her was /so/ not a good idea. "How high do you think it goes?"

"Not much farther. I think I see another door."

A few seconds later the two of them stood on the same step, shoulders brushing against each other as Kouya hesitantly pushed open the door. The first thing Yamato noticed was the orange light of the sunset coming from the two windows at the end of the room. Windows. She couldn't help but grin, stepping inside and crossing the room. "Kouya, come and look! It's gorgeous."

The named girl came and stood beside Yamato, staring out at the grounds below them. A vast green lawn spread out towards the orange died horizon, peppered with Oak trees and the occasional small lake. It wasn't anything like Ritsu's school, where Yamato had attended to study the art of being a sacrifice (not that there was much to it). That school had been so carefully groomed and polished that it appeared more like a painting than an actually wilderness. The grounds here looked like they hadn't been touched in ages, and the grass grew wild and uncut under trees with thick branches laden with shiny green leaves. There was something about the raw wilderness of the grounds that appealed to the blonde sacrifice, and she pressed her hand against the smooth glass of the window as though hoping it would sink through and stretch out again the flaming sky. She barely registered Kouya's voice, but the heat that shot through her arm when her hand was gripped made her snap away from the view. "W-what?"

Kouya let the smallest of smiles pass her lips as she met Yamato's eyes, never letting go of the other girl's hand. "Your mind's a thousand miles away right now. I asked if you wanted to go outside tomorrow. After lessons."

"Lessons?" Yamato repeated. "What for?"

"Spell battles. We started fighting as a pair tomorrow." Kouya answered, finally releasing Yamato's hand and chuckling softly. "Nagisa-sensei told me before I met you that we were to be trained for a special mission."

"Mission? What kind?"

Kouya shifted uncomfortably, staring down at her leather slip on shoes. "I…don't know. She wouldn't tell me everything. She just said it was vital that we trained hard. She said our mission would be very important."

Yamato frowned, leaning against the way and surveying the room. Upon catching sight of something she had overlooked, and grin split her face, and all questions of their so called 'mission' flew out the door.

"Kouya, look!" she said again, eagerly bouncing over to the other side of the room. "There's a bed here!"

She heard something between a laugh and a sigh come from her sentouki's mouth. "You didn't notice that when we came up? It's right next to the door."

Yamato flushed, her straw colored ears flicking back and forth in embarrassment. "Well…I guess I was really excited about seeing the windows." She admitted, and Kouya sighed once more.

"I suppose it's just as well. The view is rather pretty, isn't it?"

"Yamato nodded, allowing herself to flop back on the bed, relishing in the plump mattress and soft blankets. "This is heaven. Come and try it!"

Kouya moved to the side of the bed, staring down at it. "There's only one."

"So? It's big enough for the both of us."

Kouya's ears flicked back a bit, the way a cat's would when it was frightened or uneasy. "You…you don't mind sharing with me?"

Startled, Yamato sat up. That hadn't been the question she had been expecting. "Why would I?"

Kouya flushed, taking a seat on one of the wicker chairs that stood beside the bed. "Well…you're my sacrifice, aren't you? You could order me to sleep on the floor, or something like that. You don't have to be nice to me, or treat me like an equal. In the end, I'm just your guardian, your servant. Why make yourself less comfortable on my account? That's not how it's supposed to work."

"Says who?" she asked, her ears flattening back. She didn't like this conversation. She didn't like the idea of 'owning' someone.

"Nagisa-sensei, Ritsu-sensei, Aoyagi Semei..."

"Aoyagi Seimei?"

Yamato's eyes were wide. She had heard about him. Anyone studying at the school would be an idiot not to know. "From Beloved? /That/ Aoyagi Seimei?"

Kouya nodded. "He was a frequent visitor to Ritsu-sensei's office."

"You know Ritsu-sensei?"

"Not very well, but since I was one of Nagisa-sensei's more important students, she took me with her whenever she went to visit. Sometimes we would see him there."

"What was he like?"

The question made Kouya shiver as she sat beside Yamato on the bed, appearing to have forgotten that as a sentouki, she apparently was not supposed to do so. "Cold. His eyes…they were the most beautiful shade of violet, but…You would look at him, meet his eyes, and it would be like standing out in a winter storm without a coat. I think even Nagisa-sensei was frightened of him."

"And he thinks that sentouki can't be equal with their sacrifices?"

Kouya shook her head. "Everyone says that. I knew it before I ever met him. But one day, it was just he and I in the room. Nagisa-sensei and Ritsu-sensei had gone off somewhere to talk. He started talking to me. "You're one of Nagisa's zeroes, aren't you?" he asked. When I said yes, he asked whether I was a sentouki or a sacrifice, and I told him I was the former. He got this…strange look on his face. It seemed almost…inhuman, the way he looked at me. When he spoke, he told me that I should remember that my most important goal as a sentouki was devotion to my sacrifice. If I gave anything less, I was not worthy of the title."

"That's dumb. If you can fight, you're a sentouki. Obedience shouldn't have anything to do with it!"

The exclamation surprised even her, and she found herself flushing slightly once more under Kouya's surprised look. She knew if any other students had been sitting there now, they would have laughed and called her stupid. But Kouya didn't laugh. She didn't say anything, for a moment. She merely regarded Yamato as though the seeing the sacrifice in an entirely new light. "No one ever speaks like that."

Good. Kouya wasn't angry. Flashing a grin, Yamato replied sheepishly. "Well, Nagisa-sensei always said I was a failure as a sentouki. Guess this is what she meant, huh?"

"Because you're kind. Sacrifices aren't supposed to be kind. You're not supposed to see me as an equal."

She shrugged. "Well, I do. Too bad. You got stuck with the failure sacrifice."

So saying Yamato yawned, suddenly feeling overwhelmed. The sun had set fly now, and the velvety blue sky was peppered with silvery stars that twinkled merrily above them. Bedtime. She yanked the covers down and snuggled in one he far side of the bed. "The failure says get in the bed. That's an order!"

She could have sworn she heard the slightest of chuckles as Kouya snapped off the single light in the room before sliding on the other side of the beg and wrapping herself with he end of the blanket. It was silent for a moment. Then…

"Kouya?"

"Hm?"

"Why do you think Nagisa-sensei didn't tell us about the room?"

"I don't know, Yamato."

It was quiet fro a few more minuets before Yamato suddenly sat up, the bed squeaking under the sudden movement.

"Kouya, let's make a wish!"

"A wish?" the sentouki repeated groggily. "Why?"

"The stars are out! Let's wish upon a star!"

"I thought you had to do that one the first star that came out. There must be thousands out now. We should go to sleep"

A pause. "C'mon. Please?"

There was a soft sigh as her sentouki sat up in bed as well, the faint shaft of moonlight illuminating her pale skin and making the girl glow. Even her dark hair had caught the radiance as she turned her brown eyes to Yamato who was slightly started by the vision. "Alright. What should we wish for?"

Yamato shook her head, blinking her eyes a bit, before grabbing Kouya's hand. "Anything you want! Fame, intelligence, wealth…"

"Why would we need wealth? All our needs are taken care for by the school."

Yamato rolled her eyes, exhaling sharply and sending a few strands of straw bangs airborne. "Ok, don't wish for wealth. Just…pick something you really want, and wish for it."

Kouya nodded and closed her eyes, Yamato falling suit. Outside, she could hear the gentle rustling of trees as the wind stirred their leaves and even smell the crisp scent of an oncoming rainfall. Her fingers gripping the cool cotton sheets, buttery smooth under her fingers, and she listened to the pounding of her own heart.

She couldn't feel pain. But she could still listen. She could still feel, still hear, and still smell.

It was the same thing with Kouya, she reflected, wishing forgotten in this realization. They were the same. Two girls generically made to fight and cooperate together. Two sides of the same coin. Kouya couldn't feel pain either. They were the only two people in the world who were the same as each other.

Had Kouya realized this?

Did it matter?

Slowly, Yamato let herself fall back, the stars forgotten. She had a sentouki now. Someone she was supposed to order. To treat like a servant. Everyone said this was how it worked.

But why had Nagisa said she would belong to Kouya, and not the other way around?

Why did someone have to own someone else? Granted they were scientifically altered humans, but they were indeed, still human.

She didn't want to be owned, nor did she want to own.

She was a soft snore beside her, and with a smile, Yamato realized she was the only one awake. She turned to regard her partner noting once again how the moonlight made her seem almost ethereal, someone too sacred to be earthbound. She hadn't really had the time to appreciate the other girl's china skin, her long, silky black hair and her ski jump nose. Hadn't had the time to appreciate the other girl's gentle beauty.

A voice in a far corner of her brain was telling her how stupid she was. This was her sacrifice. This was another girl.

But as Yamato fell asleep, hand unknowingly still folding around Kouya's she was surprised to find out that she didn't really care.


End file.
